Receiving a terminal diagnosis can seem frightening, surreal, and impossible to navigate alone. Facing our own death brings us and our loved ones to a place we have never been before, and without a guide or a way forward we can feel lost and adrift in our own fear and pain. At our most challenging time of life, we can feel completely alone.
As an End-of-Life Doula, I help transform the experience of death and dying for individuals and their loved ones by easing confusion and fear, and creating meaning, connection, and comfort. With gentle guidance, practical non-medical support, and compassionate presence, I join with my clients to ensure their most peaceful end-of-life journey.
As a practicing licensed individual/family therapist with 25 years of experience, and now as a death doula, I understand how illness and impending loss can impact us and those we love. It can be as if a massive curve ball has been thrown into our lives; upending relationships, stealing our dreams and plans, and forcing change we didn’t want and perhaps haven’t planned for.
I have experienced this both professionally and personally, and I have seen death and dying handled with compassion, support, and preparation.
My unique approach of compassionate end-of-life care enhances an individual’s and a family’s ability to focus on what matters most with the time they have, and to establish relational harmony, connection, and meaning at a time when we need each other the most.
When you are facing the complexities of terminal illness, dying, death, and grief, I will be your companion, offering non-medical support, guidance, and emotional and spiritual care tailored to your own unique and personal needs, values, and wishes. Doulas work alongside you and your loved ones, and alongside hospice and your medical providers, to guide you through your final chapter in the way that you wish to write it, with compassionate care, peace, and comfort.
When we enter the world at birth, there are often many people available to provide support, comfort, and practical care for the mother, child, and other family members. There are doctors, nurses, doulas, midwives, and nannies, not to mention new grandparents, aunties and uncles. This community of support eases new parents’ fears and anxieties, provides resources and practical assistance, and transforms an otherwise often scary time into a peaceful and meaningful transition.
Why should it be different when we die? Death, as birth, is a necessary and inevitable part of all of our lives. Our deaths should be treated with the dignity, ritual, and thoughtful care that these milestone passages deserve, and can be a time for the community of our family members and loved ones to come together to celebrate our lives, and to assist in our final passage in this life.
Death doulas are uniquely qualified to guide us on this journey. Many work with both the dying person and their loved ones to enable them to focus on what matters most at the end-of-life, and to ensure the dying process is as peaceful, comfortable, and meaningful as possible. They are able to centralize the care of the dying person, and to shepherd them and their loved ones through this journey, and into the next. None of us have died before, and this is uncharted territory for all of us, but death doulas are trained to walk alongside us, gently providing guidance, support, and compassionate care to ensure we make our way through.
That depends solely on what your needs and wishes are. Hospice provides medical and clinical care for folks who have a terminal illness and a life expectancy of 6 months or less. Hospice workers include doctors, nurses, nurses’ aides, home health care providers, social workers, chaplains, and often volunteers. These are vital services for anyone facing a terminal diagnosis.
Death doulas work well alongside hospice by providing non-medical practical, emotional, spiritual, and family support, as well as education and guidance regarding advance directives, vigil planning, life review and legacy work, and bereavement support. Doulas can support individuals and families wherever they are in their journeys.
You don’t have to know that – that’s kind of what a doula is for. We can sit down together and talk about where you are and what is happening, and I will guide you through a conversation focusing on your specific situation, desires, and needs. If you then decide that my services might be helpful to you, and that we might be a good fit, we can move forward.
I offer a free 30 minute consultation, either virtually or in-person (if you are within my service area), and there is no obligation for you to continue. I will answer any questions you have, and then give you time and space to explore your next steps.
Doulas are for both the dying and their loved ones, even if they aren’t necessarily caregivers. Family members often struggle to know how to be present with their dying loved ones, and doulas can facilitate open communication and connection, ease tensions, or complete unfinished business if that is what is needed. Caregivers also very much need education and support around what to expect during the end-of-life journey, and can also need some time to be away from their loved one to tend to their own needs. Doulas can help with that too.
My focus is to work with a person’s family, friends, and chosen caregivers to create and support a vigil plan that ensures their constant, compassionate presence during active dying and at the time of death. Loved ones will be provided with education and emotional support around what to expect and how to support their loved one’s dying process.
I serve in the metro-Denver area and can generally provide in-home services within that geographic area, but virtual services will also be available to you if you choose to do that, or if weather or your own energy levels dictate that at any time. If you are outside of that service area, I can provide virtual services as well through a confidential, HIPAA compliant tele-health platform.
Although you are free to do that, doulas are trained to support each person within that person’s own religious or spiritual practices. We will be curious and eager to learn about your particular beliefs and culture, and to explore how we might best support you in facing this final chapter in the way that works best for you. We do not in any way promote or advocate for our own beliefs for practices because this is not our journey now; it’s yours.
Preparation for death is an act of love – an offering of clarity, comfort, and calm for those who will remain. When we prepare for our dying, we create more room to truly live.
Alongside End-Of-Life Doula Care can provide you with:
Advance care planning and documentation
Meaningful life reviews and creative, personalized legacy projects
Facilitation of family discussions
Coordination and education/support for family caregivers
Advocacy and coordination of care with hospice/medical providers
Emotional and spiritual support
Medical-Aid-in-Dying (MAID) and Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED) planning and support
Our last weeks, days, and hours can be a gentle and quiet process of letting go, a slow unfolding into peace. With support and guidance, this time can be filled with love, meaning, and the presence of our loved ones alongside us. Often these are times of rich connection, storytelling, and laughter along with the tears – every person’s wishes for this time are unique to them.
Alongside End-Of-Life Doula Care can support you by:
Creating a peaceful and comfortable environment that reflects what is important and to your loved ones.
Providing comfort care education, guidance, and support to your caregivers.
Creating vigil plans that ensure your final days include the elements and people that will bring you comfort and peace during your transition.
Helping you and your loved ones create rituals that will mark passages and important moments, and give them memories and rituals to carry forward in their own lives.
When we lose someone we love, our grief stays with us for the rest of our lives. It doesn’t go away, but it changes, and it eventually will become the part of us that carries the memories of our loved one. Years later, when we think of them, we feel that lump in the throat, or a tear, and we know that our grief is tapping us gently to remind us of our love. Making peace with our losses takes time, patience, and sometimes guidance to ensure we are moving through instead of getting stuck.
Alongside End-Of-Life Doula Care can support you by:
Providing bereavement support and resources for loved ones.
Coordinating with funeral providers and assisting with memorial planning.
Assisting loved ones with creating grief rituals that will enable them to carry forward memories and meaning.
Preparation for death is an act of love – an offering of clarity, comfort, and calm for those who will remain. When we prepare for our dying, we create more room to truly live.
Alongside End-Of-Life Doula Care can provide you with:
Advance care planning and documentation
Meaningful life reviews and creative, personalized legacy projects
Facilitation of family discussions
Coordination and education/support for family caregivers
Advocacy and coordination of care with hospice/medical providers
Emotional and spiritual support
Medical Aid In Dying (MAID) and Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED) planning and support