Letting go is hard. From the moment we slip into this life at birth, we are letting go of the warmth and safety of our mother’s womb. With each new stage of life, there is the letting go of whatever stage we leave behind – every letting go is a passage to something new, but a leaving as well. When we are dying, we face our final letting go, at least here on earth, and whatever is beyond that is an unknown, although many of us have a faith or belief about what that might be. Nothing can make that final letting go easy, but I believe that with compassion, care, and community around us, someone to stand alongside us, it can be easier.
When I was a child I lived for several years in Thailand, and I fell in love with elephants – a love I still hold to this day. One of the things I love most about them is how they care for each other. When one elephant is sick, injured, or dying, the other elephants will come and stand alongside them as long as they need. They don’t try to fix, they don’t push or cajole or challenge – they just stand alongside. Present, strong, gentle companions.
As a death doula, it is my privilege to stand alongside people who are facing the end of their lives, their final letting go, with compassion and respect for who they are, how they have lived, and how they choose to die. I honor each person’s values, beliefs, and cultural identities and practices with humility, curiosity, and integrity.
My first encounter with death was at the age of 13, when my father died suddenly and unexpectedly on an otherwise beautiful, sunny, California summer day. In the space of the sound of a clap of thunder, my father seemingly disappeared and my volatile but now unavoidable relationship with the mystery of death and the meaning of life began.
In the days, weeks, and then years following his death, my family simply lost its mooring.
Without guidance or understanding about this shattering loss or our indefinable grief, we splintered into separate entities, no longer bonded by common experience or shared pain. Instead we were unable to find even a common language to explain our emotions, and we drifted through many more decades as strangers, not only to each other but to ourselves.
Then in 2009 my mother died, but this time it was different. She became ill and we knew that we had only a matter of months before she would also disappear from our lives. By this time my siblings and I had experienced other, more peripheral losses and we knew about hospice services, which enabled us to care for our mother ourselves, at home, and in a way that not only kept her from “disappearing” but deepened and enriched our relationships with her in the time that we had so that she is still very present in our lives, our hearts, and our minds.
I have experienced death done well, and death done without guidance or planning, without special care for the emotional, practical, or spiritual needs of the dying person or their loved ones. This is what drives my passion to help provide exactly that care for you and your loved ones.
I received my Certification as an End-of-Life Doula from the University of Vermont’s Osher Center for Integrative Health in 2025. I have also worked for 25 years as a therapist in private practice and have helped many individuals and families through the impact of loss and grief, death and dying, and the relationship struggles that often result. I have a Master’s Degree in Professional Counseling (2000) and an EdS Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (2002), both from The College of New Jersey.
Although my approach to end-of-life care is informed and shaped by my experience as a therapist, my work as an end-of-life companion is primarily informed by my own experiences with death and dying, and my desire to equip dying people and their families with the sort of guidance and support that I know can transform their own experiences. I am comfortable with difficult or complex family situations, and am passionate about creating equilibrium and harmony in the midst of chaos. As a compassionate care provider, I will stand, and work, alongside you, dedicated to your own journey, your own needs, and your own story of life and death.
Although death comes to us all, you may feel completely alone despite being surrounded by family, friends, and caregivers. Loved ones don’t always know how to reach out to those who are facing death, and because of that we can experience distance, isolation, and fear. An end-of-life doula can stand alongside you and your loved ones each step of the way. As Ram Dass said, “We are all just walking each other home.”
As an end-of-life volunteer I bring many decades of experience assisting people with challenges in living and dying. Retired now, I was a Licensed Psychologist
(Psychology Doctorate, University of Northern Colorado, Greeley CO; doctoral internship, Duke University, Durham NC) in private practice in Denver for over 30 years. Currently, I am a volunteer with a local Hospice organization. My accumulated understanding as a clinician, volunteer, and as a fellow human is that all of life is a series of attachments and subsequent separations, perhaps as preparation for the ultimate separation at the end-of-life when the physical body departs. And although we have rehearsed throughout our years of living, we sometimes feel unprepared when the end-of-life makes its inevitable announcement. It is an honor and privilege to assist you and your loved ones during this significant time with respect, openness, and compassion.