When we or a loved one are facing a terminal diagnosis or an end-of-life journey, it can feel as if we have been dropped into outer space – no direction, no map, no mooring, and no solid ground. At a time when we may feel completely isolated and alone, it is good to know that we in fact are not alone, and that there are many people, groups, communities, and resources available to help us through.
Below are lists of those resources. If you aren’t ready to reach out to others, there are so many amazing books, videos, podcasts, and websites that offer guidance for every step along the way. If, or when, you are ready for connection and community, that is also available either in person or even remotely if you are unable to get around.
I know the saying “We are born alone and we die alone,” and in a way I get that – yes, we will take our last breath alone, but there is a lot of space between then and now and there are a lot of people and guideposts along the way to help us through the in-between times. Let them be there for you.
She also has TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube accounts so please check out her website and her videos. They are quick, to the point, honest, and compassionate. @HospiceNurseJulie
On her Podcast, Dr. Wyatt interviews folks on every topic related to end-of-life experience and care.
An excellent website for helping us start conversations about our wishes for end-of-life care, and guidance about advance directives, health care proxies, and everything we need to ensure our values are honored at the end-of-life.
An excellent resource for end-of-life care planning with access to a step-by-step form to guide us through - one of the best end-of-life planning tools available.
An excellent resource for Medical Aid in Dying information and guidance.
Education, support, and resources for anyone interested in exploring or utilizing hospice services.
Education, peer support, and resources for family caregivers.
Support and assistance for families and caregivers through education, advocacy, and services.
Support groups, workshops, referral sources.
No cost, comprehensive grief care for children suffering loss.
When we enter the world at birth, there are often many people available to provide support, comfort, and practical care for the mother, child, and other family members. There are doctors, nurses, doulas, midwives, and nannies, not to mention new grandparents, aunties and uncles. This community of support eases new parents’ fears and anxieties, provides resources and practical assistance, and transforms an otherwise often scary time into a peaceful and meaningful transition.
Why should it be different when we die? Death, as birth, is a necessary and inevitable part of all of our lives. Our deaths should be treated with the dignity, ritual, and thoughtful care that these milestone passages deserve, and can be a time for the community of our family members and loved ones to come together to celebrate our lives, and to assist in our final passage in this life.
Death doulas are uniquely qualified to guide us on this journey. Many work with both the dying person and their loved ones to enable them to focus on what matters most at the end-of-life, and to ensure the dying process is as peaceful, comfortable, and meaningful as possible. They are able to centralize the care of the dying person, and to shepherd them and their loved ones through this journey, and into the next. None of us have died before, and this is uncharted territory for all of us, but death doulas are trained to walk alongside us, gently providing guidance, support, and compassionate care to ensure we make our way through.
That depends solely on what your needs and wishes are. Hospice provides medical and clinical care for folks who have a terminal illness and a life expectancy of 6 months or less. Hospice workers include doctors, nurses, nurses’ aides, home health care providers, social workers, chaplains, and often volunteers. These are vital services for anyone facing a terminal diagnosis.
Death doulas work well alongside hospice by providing non-medical practical, emotional, spiritual, and family support, as well as education and guidance regarding advance directives, vigil planning, life review and legacy work, and bereavement support. Doulas can support individuals and families wherever they are in their journeys.
You don’t have to know that – that’s kind of what a doula is for. We can sit down together and talk about where you are and what is happening, and I will guide you through a conversation focusing on your specific situation, desires, and needs. If you then decide that my services might be helpful to you, and that we might be a good fit, we can move forward.
I offer a free 30 minute consultation, either virtually or in-person (if you are within my service area), and there is no obligation for you to continue. I will answer any questions you have, and then give you time and space to explore your next steps.
Doulas are for both the dying and their loved ones, even if they aren’t necessarily caregivers. Family members often struggle to know how to be present with their dying loved ones, and doulas can facilitate open communication and connection, ease tensions, or complete unfinished business if that is what is needed. Caregivers also very much need education and support around what to expect during the end-of-life journey, and can also need some time to be away from their loved one to tend to their own needs. Doulas can help with that too.
My focus is to work with a person’s family, friends, and chosen caregivers to create and support a vigil plan that ensures their constant, compassionate presence during active dying and at the time of death. Loved ones will be provided with education and emotional support around what to expect and how to support their loved one’s dying process.
I serve in the metro-Denver area and can generally provide in-home services within that geographic area, but virtual services will also be available to you if you choose to do that, or if weather or your own energy levels dictate that at any time. If you are outside of that service area, I can provide virtual services as well through a confidential, HIPAA compliant tele-health platform.
Although you are free to do that, doulas are trained to support each person within that person’s own religious or spiritual practices. We will be curious and eager to learn about your particular beliefs and culture, and to explore how we might best support you in facing this final chapter in the way that works best for you. We do not in any way promote or advocate for our own beliefs for practices because this is not our journey now; it’s yours.